


Insensate

by Cadette



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Comics), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sibling Incest, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-17 00:20:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13647462
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cadette/pseuds/Cadette
Summary: *repost from old account*After a terrible skirmish in a neighboring realm, Loki is left completely broken and must go through a severely painful healing process. Thor vows to never let feel his brother feel pain again, and Loki vows to never feel at all. Pre-Thor (movie).





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This will be explicit. :)

The great double doors of the Asgardian palace boom open and a thunderous crowd of warriors clamber through. They are all quite spent, panting heavily, black eyes and menacing abrasions clinging to their flesh as dangerous reminders of the blood bath they have just escaped. The men and women collapse to the floor and gilded benches that line the richly elegant palace entrance hall, unable to make it a step further.

The last to appear through the double doors is the might god of thunder, Thor, Son of Odin. His forehead bleeds and his lip is split, but other than a few other scrapes and scuffs on his exposed arms, he managed to escape in one piece. The same cannot be said for the person he carries in his arms.

He glances helplessly from side to side, his striking blue eyes fret with worry, his golden locks matted down with sweat, blood, and an ominous rainfall that had followed Thor’s summoning of the elements. This is his punishment for being arrogant, for leaving the group of fellow warriors and fighting on his own, though he had known that the others were only holding him back, Thor is the only one who managed to escape in such good health. His punishment is that his beloved little brother lies in his arms, inches from death, split open and unconscious.

“Loki,” Thor murmurs, kneeling to the marble floor and gently laying down his brother. “You _will_ be all right, brother.”

Loki makes no response, he may as well have already passed, but Thor knows he would feel it in his heart if all hope had left the building. His black hair falls limp across his forehead, his features elegant as ever, yet void of the usual light and mischief on his face. It is not Loki who lies on the floor, not the animated comrade and brother Thor knows and loves so well. This cannot be.

“Help us,” Thor calls out, keeping his eyes on Loki’s face. “Guards – anyone – help us!”

The moans and groans from his fellow warriors fall on deaf ears to Thor. They are his friends, his family, but no one is so precious to him as Loki and he will not dedicate his attention to anything or anyone else until there is help. “I require assistance!” Thor yells with more passion, and it echoes in the hall this time, reverberating against the columns and arches.

Odin, ruler of Asguard, appears from the throne room followed by his wife and a few elderly noblemen. There is severe concern on his face and at once, Thor and Loki’s mother Frigga kneels to the ground at Loki’s side.

“My darling,” she whispers and caresses Loki’s face. Her eyes land on Thor’s. “What happened?”

“I was told your journey to would be a benevolent one,” Odin says in disbelief. “We are not at war; who waged this upon you?”

“Please, father,” Thor says urgently. “We must get the wounded to the Hall of Healing. Most especially Loki; he has not been with us since before we walked the Bifrost.”

Frigga removes part of Loki’s cloak that Thor had so carefully placed, and gasps loudly. Loki is nearly sliced in half, his ribs shattered and muscles exposed most deadly.

“Mother,” Thor says softly. “Be strong.”

She nods and waves a shaky hand, summoning the power of levitation to walk Loki to the Hall of Healing. Thor watches anxiously, and his wounded comrades slowly make their way after Loki to find their own healing. Some stay in the hall, sloppily mending themselves with unpracticed magic.

“Thor,” Odin says lowly. “Tell me.”

“We arrived,” Thor says, his eye still trained on his mother and Loki. “We admired the landscape; we had no been there before. Our mission was to dine with the king of Svartalfaheimr, to maintain relations; you know this. We had barely stepped foot across the plain before we were attacked by hundreds of Svartalfar. They swarmed us, we were outnumbered and unprepared for hostility. We did not have our proper armor or most powerful weapons. Had I not had Mjolnir we may still be there, dying on their fields.”

Odin sets a hand on Thor’s shoulder, his brow furrowed and expression dark. “I will never forgive myself for sending the young to do a job that my council should have done.”

“Father,” Thor says softly. “We know not who attacked us, only that we were on Svartalfaheimr soil. I left the group to fight on my own, where I thought I would be of most use. I did not see it happen, but I heard Loki scream and when I turned, he lay on the ground, nearly impaled with a thick jagged weapon I have never before seen. I thought him dead, I-”

Odin shakes his head. “This will not stand. I must ride to the location and see why they have done this.”

Thor swallows, staring at his father, and he his not afraid for him. How can he be afraid? Odin never loses, Odin always comes through. Odin always prevails. It is a constant that Thor has relied on since he was a child, and it has never failed him.

“Good luck,” Thor says as a farewell, and he strides down the hall to join his brother. Loki needs Thor’s presence much more than anyone else does, and Thor will not settle until his brother is with him again.

 

***

 

Thor sits vigil by Loki’s bedside for nearly two weeks as he watches the healers try their hardest to patch him back together. It is no easy task. Loki has visited death, tasted it, nearly experienced it, they say. He is missing vital pieces and he was barely held together, except by his suit of light armor that had kept him tethered. 

Thor understands nothing of healing and medicine, and even littler of magic, but he knows there has to be a way to repair the god. Haven’t they immortality? It must count for something, and soon enough, Thor stops asking questions and simply watches with growing anxiety.

They can fix him, the healers say, but it will not be easy, it will not be fast, and it will be incredibly painful for Loki. It may break his spirit, they fear, but Thor is not worried about that. Of everyone he knows, Loki has the most spirit, and it is unbreakable. He also knows that his little brother is no great fan of pain, and it will be a miserable time for him.

But where is room for complaint when his life is saved?

“Thank you,” Thor tells the healer who is making passes with his hands over Loki’s stomach. It has been sealed and the two halves have been fused together again. The healer says Loki will be magically regenerating all of his lower ribs, some vertebrae, his left tibia, and a few of his left finger bones. He will be fragile as a porcelain doll for three months, and completely miserable.

But alive. Thor sits as close to Loki’s healing bed as possible, looking forward to the day soon when Loki will be moved to his own bedroom. Thor is as familiar with Loki’s room as he is with his own. They will be together there soon as they so loved when they were children, and Loki was bound to heal faster if he was among his own things and comfort. Loki was so wickedly clever; he would find a way to outsmart his own wounds.

Thor finds it in himself to smile, and he touches Loki’s delicately featured face. Those green eyes would light up again; the devilish smile would come back. Thor knows this, because his little brother is the god of mischief, and very few things have ever gotten the better of the god of mischief. 

 

***

 

There is movement behind Loki’s eyelids. Odin, Frigga, Thor, and two healers sit by the bed anxiously in Loki’s bedchambers.

“Loki, my darling,” Frigga says softly, and Odin holds her hand. “My darling boy, wake up for us.”

Thor bites his lower lip and stands, staring down at his brother who has been asleep now for three weeks. The healers have given him a serum to gently alert his body that it was all right and safe to come out of consciousness. Frigga reaches forward and strokes her fingers lightly across Loki’s forehead, and his mouth parts ever so slightly. Thor freezes and Frigga withdraws her hand, startled.

“Loki,” Thor says in a louder tone. He can hardly contain his excitement.

“Ohh,” comes a faint, whispery groan from Loki’s lips. “Euhh.”

Thor, Odin, and Frigga exchange looks, and the healers rush to his side, ready with their enchanting hands posed. Loki wrinkles his nose slightly, and then his brows furrow.

“Loki, can you hear us?” Odin asks. “My son, give us a sign if you can.”

“Talk to me, Loki,” Thor says, kneeling and resting a hand on Loki’s wrist. “Are you well, brother?”

Loki’s head moves to the side slightly and he says, very softly, very slowly, “Don’t be stupid. Of course I am not well.”

Thor actually grins and stands, elated in this moment. 

“My Loki,” Frigga says. “We have waited so long.”

“Mother,” Loki murmurs. “I was afraid I had woken in a world with only my brother in it.”

“You should be so lucky!” Thor says mirthfully, and he looks at Odin expectantly. “Father, what have you to say?”

Odin nods once and dons a serene smile, always regal and collected. “That the House of Odin is again complete. Might I look into the eyes of my youngest son and see for myself that he is all right?”

Loki’s breathing is more steady now, and the healers gesture over his head, removing some kind of glowing, translucent barrier. 

“You might, father,” Loki says, a fraction of his usual mischief present in his voice. “And I might oblige, if I did not ache so badly that keeping my eyes shut is one of my few sensory defenses.”

“Please,” Frigga says. “For a moment, for your family. We’ve waited so long.”

Slowly, Loki opens his eyes and the brilliant flash of green appears. Thor smiles so wide his face might split, and Frigga lets out a small sob. Odin smiles, his smile firm now, and makes a hand motion for Loki to lower his eyes once more.

Before Loki closes his eyes again, his gaze meets with Thor’s. Thor tries to read Loki’s face as he has so many times before and failed, but as usual, it is a futile effort. He gives Loki a warm smile. The corner of Loki’s lips twitch, and then he rests.

“We will give him pain diminishers,” one of the healers says. “It will help him to sleep.”

“More sleep?” Thor asks. Surely Loki has slept enough for a lifetime.

“Yes, slumber is his best remedy right now,” the healer replies.

“I will stay,” Thor says resolutely.

Frigga kisses Thor’s forehead and Odin sets a strong hand on Thor’s shoulder. “See that you do,” he says.

His parents leave, and after a moment, the healers leave, too. Thor pulls a chair to Loki’s bedside and sits with his arms crossed, watching his brother. He knows Loki is going to be all right, because the first words out of his mouth had been an insult to Thor. This was his Loki, his beloved little brother.

Loki’s breathing quiets, becomes less quick, more heavy. The breathing of slumber. Thor lets out a long breath and shuts his own eyes.

 

***

 

When Thor wakes it is the next morning, and he can’t believe how long he has slept. Indeed he had been exhausted from the events over the past few weeks; first the ambush, and then the emotionally draining affair that followed. His shoulders and neck ache from sleeping upright in the wooden chair all night.

He looks around the room and his eyes land right in front of him, on his brother who appears to be still sleeping. Thor rests a hand on Loki’s fingers and squeezes one lightly.

“Ow,” Loki murmurs, his face twisting in chagrin. “Don’t.”

Thor retracts his hand, eyebrows raised. “Are you awake, brother?”

“I am now.”

Thor’s eyes light up. It is early in the morning, the sun shines through Loki’s windows and spreads slats of light across the floor. Loki’s eyes remain closed, his finger trembling where Thor had touched him.

“I am sorry,” Thor says quietly. “I thought it was your other hand that was injured.”

Loki lets out a tiny groan. “All of it hurts.”

Thor doesn’t know what to say.

“Please stop staring,” Loki mumbles.

“Didn’t the healers enchant you with a pain diminisher? Should I call for them again to restore it?”

“I don’t know. I can’t remember feeling relief from the pain, and I barely slept,” Loki says. Finally his eyes blink open, and he looks tired, but his green eyes remind Thor of how much he loves his brother and how relieved he is that he will be all right. “What of the Svartalfar?”

“Father visited with the king, and he swore that he had no involvement in the attack,” Thor says. “It was rebels who live on the outskirts of the realm, where we had entered. They were cast out from civilization, so they react by slaying anyone one coming in or going out.”

“Lovely.”

“Yes,” Thor says apologetically. “No one was so injured as you. I should not have left the group, or your side.”

Loki makes a slight movement, a sort of tilt of his head, and a gigantic grimace follows accompanied by a whimper.

“What can I do?” Thor asks anxiously. “Tell me, brother.”

“Leave me alone.”

Thor moves closer to Loki’s side. “No, I-”

Loki trains his green eyes on Thor. “Leave me alone.”

“Father said to stay with you,” Thor says. “Commanded it. I cannot disobey.”

“Thor, you are so clever to craft a flimsy lie that Father commanded you to stay with me,” Loki says. “So clever. Perhaps you have evolved while I slept.”

Thor smiles. His brother fights him with words even at his weakest.

“I thought we had lost you,” Thor says honestly. “For a long while we did not think you would wake. I mourned, brother, and I never left your side as you slept. I convinced myself that you were beyond saving, no matter what the healers said. I convinced myself, Loki, because I had to. I knew I could not bear to restore my hope only to have it stripped from me again if the worst came to pass.”

Loki is silent for a moment, his eyelids lowered so that his eyes are not visible to Thor. All that can be seen are his splendid eyelashes fanned over the tops of his cheekbones and healing scrapes, scratches, and bruises on his face that mar his porcelain skin. He does not look like the standard Asgardian; Loki is much more slight and delicate, but Thor has always thought he was stunning.

“Well, stop your worrying, brother,” Loki says softly. “I am on the painful road to recovery. You needn’t mourn or give it any more thought.”

Thor nods once. Loki attempts to shift his position, but the pain written on his face is evident. He lets out a soft cry and gives up, settling back again, closing his eyes. A single tear slips down Loki’s cheek, and it breaks Thor’s silence.

“Brother, let me help you,” Thor says desperately. “Do you need to move? I can lift you. Do you need to use the washroom? Are you hungry? Are you-”

Loki groans loudly, and Thor is not sure if it is from pain or annoyance, so he stops talking. Loki cringes and moves his legs slightly, but that brings out another groan.

“Loki,” Thor whispers.

Loki looks up at Thor with doleful, defeated eyes. “It hurts so much. I can hardly think,” he says weakly, weaker than Thor has ever seen his defiant brother.

“I will leave you in peace, then,” Thor says.

He turns to leave and walks slowly, giving his brother a chance to ask for help, but he never does. Thor sighs and leaves the room, closing the door gently as possible for someone with his might can manage.

 

***

 

Thor has sent the healers to tend to Loki against his brother’s wishes because he cannot get the idea of Loki in excruciating pain out of his head. The healers try to diminish the pain, but every enchantment they have only pauses the healing process and suspends Loki in a purgatorial state of searing pain. They must forgo it.

Thor and his mother sit by Loki the next day. Frigga does her reading as Thor goes over a map of Svartalfaheimr, trying to see where they went wrong. Loki lies on his bed deep under the silken covers, staring at the ceiling on his canopy that he had enchanted the constellations on in his youth. His breathing is very shallow, as even taking breaths throws a surge of pain through him, he’d said.

He looks completely miserable.

“Mother, I am hungry,” Thor says to Frigga. “Maybe you could send for some lunch?”

“I will,” says Frigga. She smiles and strokes Thor’s cheek, and then sets her gaze on Loki. “Darling, can you eat anything?”

Loki wrinkles his nose, and then groans in pain. 

“Lunch for two, then,” Frigga says quietly. She leaves the chambers and Thor stands to sit beside Loki’s bed.

“How long has it been since you’ve eaten? Or…” Thor trails off.

“Or relieved myself.”

“Yes,” Thor says. “It defies logic.”

“I suspended all of my bodily needs with an enchantment I learned when I was younger, for the times I would run away from home and hide. I didn’t want to be tempted back with such trivial things as food and bathroom use,” Loki says.

Thor smiles at that. He remembers; Loki would often run away from home and disappear for a day or two. He always returned, and Thor is not surprised that Loki had thought of something so clever when he was just a boy.

“And why did you often feel the need to hide from us, brother?” Thor asks.

Loki shifts and groans.

“Surely our palatial life wasn’t so terrible.”

Loki gives a dry, breathy chuckle. “Boredom.”

“And now?” Thor says. “Would you go now?”

“I am quite bored,” Loki replies. “But running away is not on my list of things to do today. Today I will be lying here, wretched with pain every time I sniffle or take a breath, stripped of everything, and I can’t even have a delicious snack.”

Thor tilts his head in sympathy.

“Don’t pity me, brother,” Loki says icily. “It does not suit you.”

“Have it your way,” Thor replies. “Mother and I will eat our delicious lunch and then leave you to your thoughts.”

“Mm,” Loki hums. “I will endure it.” His eyes shift to his enchanted constellations and Thor moves to the sofa that is situated on the other side of the bedroom. He is in no mood for Loki’s sharp tongue.

 

***

 

Days pass, weeks, and Loki is healing. It is the most awful thing that Thor has ever witnessed, and the healing comes in stages. Loki is able to move his fingers. Loki is able to turn his head. Loki is able to move his legs. One thing leads to another and soon Loki is up on two feet, walking with his trademark elegance, though in short droves. Thor is excited for Loki to join the family at their breakfasts and dinners, and to run around the kingdom as they always had before. He is excited to have his brother back in one perfect piece.

He tires easily, though, and can barely catch his breath after walking down a simple palace hall. Thor offers him a shoulder to lean on, for support, but Loki denies it each time.

“You must walk before you can run,” Thor tells him.

“Honestly, Thor, where do you come up with these things?” Loki replies. He’s supporting himself on a cane that Odin had given to him, and his cheeks are flushed with exhaustion. “I must go back to my chambers.”

Thor watches anxiously as Loki hobbles a couple steps and then pauses to sigh as if the weight of all nine realms sits on his slight shoulders.

“Loki, just let me help you to your room,” Thor says. “You may insult and jest at me the entire way. I will even say some stupid things.”

“As if you have control over that.” Loki heaves another sigh. “Yes, I suppose your brawn is useful for something. Give me an arm.”

Thor refrains from smiling and grandly stands next to Loki with an elbow offered. Grumbling, Loki takes his elbow and all of his weight leans upon Thor; it is hardly even a burden to Thor. Loki is slender and weightless on his arm, and they walk silently down the hall to Loki’s quarters. Thor opens the doors and Loki stumbles in, settling on a chaise lounge.

“What are your plans, brother?” Thor asks, his arm still warm from where Loki clutched.

“I don’t know. Earlier I sent for a servant to help me with a bath, but I am so tired now.”

“I can reschedule,” Thor offers.

“No, it will be fine,” Loki murmurs.

Thor turns to leave, but Loki speaks again.

“Wait.”

“Hm?” Thor looks over his shoulder.

“Might I use your brainless brawn again to get to the washroom?” Loki asks with a smirk, the one he wears whenever he insults Thor.

“Who is the servant coming to help?” Thor asks. He lifts Loki again and helps him cross the wide expanse to the washroom, and Loki leans against the grand claw-footed tub.

“Ah,” Loki hisses in pain. He closes his eyes for a moment, holding his head in one hand and the side of his torso in another. “It is Lulmir.”

Thor frowns. Lulmir is a servant of the House of Odin who has been around many years, and is very close with Loki. Too close; Thor thinks Lulmir has misplaced affections for his little brother, and the idea of him helping Loki with something as intimate as a bath makes Thor go into protective mode.

“I see,” is all Thor says.

Loki opens his eyes and gives Thor a mischievous look. “Why. Do you think it inappropriate?”

“It is not my business,” Thor says. “I will go now.”

Loki’s green eyes stay trained on Thor as Thor leaves, and just as he exits the washroom, Lulmir pushes the bedroom door open and enters. He smiles pleasantly at Thor, nodding and mumbling a soft, “My lord,” and walks toward the washroom. Lulmir is an elven man from a neighboring realm who had settled with his family in Asgard after war had spoiled his own realm. He has long golden hair and honey brown eyes, with an olive complexion.

“Good afternoon, my prince,” Lulmir says to Loki as he approaches. “Will you still be requesting a bath?”

“I would,” Loki says. “The same as yesterday, please.”

Thor frowns, paused by the bedroom door. They did this yesterday? And how many times before?

“I’ve brought your favorite scents, Master Loki,” Lulmir says. “I will draw your bath as you undress.”

“Very good, Lulmir,” Loki replies articulately, with just a touch of allure, if Thor is hearing it correctly.

Thor hears a tiny groan, and he turns his head to see what is happening in the washroom through a cracked door. Lulmir is bent over the tub as Loki stands, slowly disrobing. He removes first his shirt, trembling and groaning. Thor sees the many healing abrasions and scrapes peppered across Loki’s delicate skin, and then Loki unlaces his trousers and slips them down.

Thor is staring at his brother’s naked backside and he’s astounded by how beautiful it is, really. Thor has always admired his brother’s beauty; it is one of their many (many, _many_ ) differences, and he is most impressed by Loki’s almost other-worldly looks. His creamy back curves down to slender hips and a pert ass that Thor has never seen the likes of, not even on the prettiest maidens he has taken in the past.

“Master, your bath is nearly drawn,” Lulmir says. “Oh, you are ready? Let me help to lift you.”

Thor frowns and turns to leave. He exits the door and closes is gently as not to make a sound, and paces hurriedly down the gilded hallway to his own chambers. 

He leans against his bedpost and squinches his eyes shut for a moment. The image will not leave him.

 

***

 

Loki does not come to breakfast or dinner. He does not come out of his room. The more he heals, the more reclusive he becomes, doing in his chambers Thor knows not what. Thor puts all of his energy and focus into training and lessons and though he misses his brother, he still cannot get the image of his brother’s naked form from his head. It’s like a poison, a virus, and Thor must work through it.

At the dining table one evening, Thor sits with his parents, feasting on a delicious spread of all the splendors Asgard has to offer. He barely tastes it, though, and cannot stop gazing at Loki’s empty seat.

“Thor, darling,” Frigga says quietly. “What ails you? Normally by now you have eaten everything on the table and we call for more.”

Thor sighs, avoiding Loki’s seat with his eyes. “It is nothing.”

“Your brother’s absence is not unnoticed,” Frigga tells him. “We so much wish to dine as a family again.”

A family, Thor thinks miserably. Loki is family. He is not to be lusted after.

“Surely he is well by now,” Odin says. “It is inappropriate that he takes his dinners in his room, relaxing and doing as he likes.”

Thor remembers the enchantment Loki had put on himself during his healing, and wonders if it has even been lifted yet. Thor would not be surprised; Loki had always thought food was such a messy thing.

“Go to him after dinner,” Frigga says to Thor with light in her eyes. “Tell him that he is missed.”

Thor nods vaguely. “I will, Mother.”

After more pushing his food around on his plate, Thor gives up and excuses himself from the table. He wanders the courtyard for some time, watching the Asgardian suns set in the sky and the moons rise to take their place. This is something Loki understands impeccably, the skies and the secrets they behold. He’d always tried to explain it to Thor when they were younger, and Thor had tried to keep up, had wanted nothing more than to disappear into Loki’s fantastical world, but he simply could not. These discussions would always end with insults and a bit of wrestling, followed by a lot of laughter.

Thor smiles, thinking of his brother. He strolls to Loki’s quarters and knocks on the door, his fist leaving a resounding boom in the hallway.

“Yes,” he hears Loki says, and Thor enters.

Thor walks into the room and smiles. Loki is sitting cross-legged on his bed with four books open in front of him, along with a leather pouch of runes and some glowing marbles in a crucible sitting on the bedside table. His face is illuminated by a small orb he is holding in his hands, his black hair tumbled across his forehead.

“You,” Loki says, his eyes not leaving the orb.

“Me,” Thor agrees. He closes the door behind him and steps up to Loki’s bed. “What are you doing, brother?”

Loki shakes his head. “There is not enough time in this world or others to explain that to you.”

Thor chuckles. “Oh, try me.”

Finally Loki looks up from his work, a hint of a smile on his face. “It is a secret.”

Loki lifts the orb in his hands and sends it off toward Thor. The orb clouds around Thor’s head and he feels lightheaded, dizzy for a moment, and then the orb puffs away in a cloud of golden smoke.

“I see,” Thor says. He sits in the chair next to the bed that had been left there from where he sat before when Loki had been unconscious. “Are you well, Loki?”

“I am,” Loki murmurs. His eyes are trained on a new orb that he is pulling and twisting between his fingers. This one is a faint purple, and vibrates with a slight shimmer. 

“Are you simply showing off for me?” Thor asks with a grin.

Loki actually smiles now, sending the orb toward Thor again. This one clings to his hair and makes flutters in his ear, rendering him breathless and sleepy. As soon as it fades, Thor perks up again, feeling more alert than before.

“Oh, Thor,” Loki says quietly. He is thumbing through one of the books now. “I am always showing off for you.”

Thor smiles. “What books are these? Your own or from Father’s library?”

“A bit of both, actually,” Loki says. “Now will you leave me be while I try to figure this out?”

“Mother sends a message with me, and Father as well,” Thor says. “We miss you at the dining table.”

“Is that all?”

“Is that all?” Thor repeats. “You are our kin, our closest kin. Do you not miss us, as well? Brother, we thought we had lost you. We waited ever so anxiously as you slept, waited for you to come back to us. We went through so much-”

Loki looks up quickly, his green eyes almost black. “You went through so much? Oh, don’t make me laugh. I am sure it was incredibly taxing being in perfect health and going about your daily lives as I lay here broken and useless with every breath drawing the most shuddering pain. I lay here as it all mended, I lay here helpless as my bones and organs regenerated themselves inside me where they had shattered to nothing not days before. I suspended my body to no longer need food or relief and wilted as I grew weaker because my body craved the strength that food would award it, but I just couldn’t. Oh, Thor, please. Do not make this about you or mother or father. I have suffered, and I will not again.”

Thor is quiet for a moment, and then, “Of course you will not suffer again. I would never let it happen.”

Loki lets out a raspy laugh.

“Loki, open to me,” Thor says. 

“We may be immortal, we may be divine, but we are not immune to pain and I will not be vulnerable,” Loki says evenly. “I wanted death, Thor. I felt that bad. The tragedy is that I could not move enough to enchant a knife sharp enough to slit my throat but oh, how I tried.”

Thor can’t believe what he is hearing. His cheeks are hot with emotion, his knuckles clenching so tightly his hands are white. “Loki, no,” he says brokenly.

“I will find a way,” Loki says resolutely. “I will not bear it any longer.”

“But how?”

“You will see,” Loki replies. “Now leave me to my magic.”

Thor doesn’t want to. “Please, just – another orb. I’d like to see another.”

Loki looks at Thor so condescendingly it should hurt Thor’s pride, but Thor is used to it. This is Loki’s game face. 

“Darling brother, always be careful what you ask for,” Loki says. He makes quick work in his hands and conjures a sickly green orb that gives off faint sparks and odor lines. He holds it to his mouth, cringes, and blows it across the distance to Thor’s face. The cloud hovers around Thor and it is the foulest thing Thor has ever smelt.

“Disgusting,” Thor mutters. He stands and walks away from the cloud, and Loki snickers mischievously. Thor turns and stares at his brother on the bed, surrounded by books and magical relics, conjuring and twisting power in his hands like it didn’t take years and years to master. Thor shakes his head.

“Now get out,” Loki says pointedly. “Or I will make the orb chase you and then hover above you as you sleep.”

Thor considers this. “Perhaps you are feeling well again, brother.”

“Yes, well…” Loki shrugs a slender shoulder and directs his eyes back to his work. “Good night.”

Thor smiles. “Good night.”

He leaves the room and pauses just outside the door. Thor hadn’t known that Loki was in _such_ pain, to that extent which he no longer desired to live. The thought made Thor desperately anxious; he loved his brother with all his heart and the idea that he could lose him, both by someone else’s hand or by Loki’s doing himself, was entirely too much. Yes, Thor now lusted after his brother, and he supposed that in a way he always had. It was not normal the way that Thor constantly was at Loki’s side, making sure his little brother was all right and safe, admiring his beauty, dazzled by his wit.

Thor begins the walk to his room and smells something vaguely familiar. He turns around and sees the green orb creeping out from under Loki’s closed door, and it gains speed as it chases after Thor. Thor lets out a growl and picks up his pace. This is just another one of Loki’s harmless tricks, but this one is _very_ unpleasant.


	2. Chapter 2

The next evening and the following breakfast after that, Loki is still absent from the tables. He is absent from life, it seems, and it is during the next dinner that Thor excuses himself and walks to Loki’s quarters.

He finds his brother in the same position; sitting cross-legged on his bed, working on some kind of incantation or spell. Thor shakes his head at the sight.

“Loki,” Thor says loudly.

“I did not permit your entrance,” is Loki’s simple reply. “Be gone; I am busy.”

“No, brother,” Thor says with a frown. He closes the door and walks across the room. There are tomes and scrolls on the floor at either side of Loki’s bed. The only light in the room is a single candle on Loki’s bedpost. “Your absence is no longer appropriate.”

Loki wrinkles his brow for a split second, and then looks at Thor. “And?”

“And, well…” Thor shrugs haplessly. “We miss you. Is that so awful?”

“Awful, no,” Loki says. “Unnecessary, yes. I am still in the palace. I’ve not left my childhood bedroom. I haven’t gone to war or died. If Father or Mother miss me so much, they are more than welcome to come calling as you so incessantly do.”

Thor shakes his head. “This isn’t you, Loki. You are not so reclusive.”

Loki stares at Thor for a moment, seeming thoughtful. “Indeed,” he finally says.

“Perhaps you are still unwell. Perhaps you are keeping a brave face and I need to send for the healers.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Loki murmurs.

Thor is overcome with emotion. Loki has never looked more delicate or helpless as he does now, never so much like the child he was. Thor would like to embrace Loki and press their bodies warmly together until Loki feels the love and concern radiating from Thor’s heart, but he knows better. To touch Loki is to started an easily spooked animal, and must be handled with patience and elegance.

“May I join you?” Thor asks.

Loki opens his mouth to answer and then hesitates. He eyes Thor in a suspicious fashion. “Why?”

Thor just sighs.

“Suit yourself,” Loki says vaguely. He stretches his arm across the bed to reach for a piece of parchment, and Thor sees cuts and scrapes slotted across Loki’s flesh. They are fresh and blushing, the wetness catching the flicker of the flame.

“Loki – what happened?” Thor takes Loki’s wrist and wrenches it close to his face, and Loki is torn across the bed surface by his brother’s might. Their faces are inches apart and Thor studies the wounds on Loki’s arm. “What are you doing in here?”

Their eyes meet and Loki dares to curl his lips into an empty smile. He laughs shortly. “Leave, Thor. I won’t explain this to you.”

“You will,” Thor says. “Have you… unhealed?”

Now Loki is laughing for real, and he indignantly reclaims his arm from Thor’s hold. “Yes, Thor, I’ve unhealed.” He gives Thor that look of condescension again. “I am… attempting otherworldly magic. Something not easily accessed, and I need complete quiet for it. I need concentration.”

“But for what? This is not about one of your silly flying orbs, is it?”

“Oh, you think those are silly? I’m hurt,” Loki says. “No, it isn’t like those.”

“Are you hurting yourself?” Thor is confused.

“Yes and no.”

“How much yes?”

Loki is silent.

“I’ll tell Father,” Thor threatens.

“And I will tell him that you have it all wrong, that you do not understand the complications and intricacies of magic,” Loki says calmly. “It’s not inaccurate, and it would not be the first time.”

Thor folds his arms and stares at Loki heavily.

Loki sighs lightly. “I’m trying to… It’s just that…” He pauses and rubs the back of his back with his other hand, and that arm has a fresh burn mark on it. “I don’t want to feel anymore.”

“What?”

“If you could never feel pain again, if you could tap into that kind of ability, wouldn’t you?” Loki says. He almost seems like his old self again, explaining something to Thor with just the right mixture of intellect and ridicule. His eyes are alight with some kind of mischief Thor cannot recognize. “We have sensors all over our bodies. Inside of them. I mean to shut those off.”

“And what of feelings? Emotions?” Thor asks.

“Oh, you know I don’t have those.”

Thor glares at his brother who lets out another laugh.

“Calm yourself, brother,” Loki says. “You have nothing to worry about.”

“You sit in your chambers in the dark night after night, blasting yourself with flames and who knows what else, in an insane quest to find the antidote to make you invincible to the feel of it,” Thor says. “I am supposed to allow you to-”

“No, no,” Loki interrupts. “I do not need your permission.”

Now more than ever Thor wants to take Loki in his arms and convince him that he is being even stupider than Loki often thinks Thor is. Thor did not know Loki was capable of such behavior, his beautiful little brother. Thor knows that Loki often feels second best, like he doesn’t quite fit in with the golden Asgardian royal family as he is more like a shiny piece of coal.

“You have no need for this new skill that you so desperately wish to possess,” Thor says brokenly, attempting to take Loki’s hand but his brother pulls away swiftly. “You must know that I have already sworn my life to protect you.”

Loki is quiet for a long moment. Thor thinks that perhaps he has gotten through to the dark haired prince.

Then, Loki takes Thor’s hand by the wrist and clasps it over his jaw. Thor stares as Loki strokes Thor’s wrist, and then curls the fingers of his other hand in a smooth gesture. At once Thor loses control of his hand and his fingernails dig sharply into Loki’s skin, piercing, bruising, marring his beloved little brother. Loki cries out sharply and pushes Thor’s hand away, the enchanted hold severed.

Thor stumbles backward, eyes wide. “Loki-”

“Damn,” Loki says, a guttural moan following. He holds a hand to his jaw, flushed with the promise of a bruise. Then, as if nothing out of the ordinary has happened, he returns to his books and lets out a bothered sigh.

“Don’t ever do that to me again,” Thor all but roars, angry.

“I hardly did anything to you,” Loki replies, gesturing to his forming bruise. “But more than you did this to _me_.”

“No,” Thor yells. “You – your mind is poisoned, Loki. Please, open to me. Tell me what bothers you and we will solve this together. Are you fearful, brother? Do you wish for me to spend more time with you, to make you know that you are not alone and vulnerable to attack?”

Loki falters momentarily, his defiant expression now weak and accessible. Thor can easily see the fear and uncertainty in Loki’s eyes and it is very jarring; Loki is never unsure of anything, even when he rides his plans into disaster. Thor touches Loki’s face where he had so involuntarily wounded and Loki leans into the touch.

“I am sorry,” Loki murmurs. “I should not have done that to you.”

“When does it end?” Thor asks. He feels the heat pulsing from Loki’s skin, and wants so badly to touch Loki all over. “When will you realize this is a fruitless task?”

“But it isn’t,” Loki whispers. “You will see.”

“No, I won’t,” Thor replies heavily. He retracts his hand and Loki makes a soft sound of disappointment at the disconnect. “I will not see it because I cannot watch you do this to yourself.”

Loki nods. “But you will keep my secret?”

Thor hesitates before nodding, because he cant deny Loki anything – never has been able to.

“All right,” Loki says. “Good night, then.”

“Yes,” Thor replies. He leaves the room and presses his hand to his lips, where Loki’s warmth and scent still lingers. 

 

***

 

Thor abstains from visiting Loki for the next two days and instead busies himself with his friends, practicing combat against the Warriors Three as Lady Sif advises. Thor has neglected his friends since Loki’s accident, and he often forgets that they were in the skirmish, too, and had mourned along with Thor of Loki’s potentially fatal wounds. They all suffered wounds of their own, but none so terrible as Thor’s little brother.

“And how is Loki?” Sif asks as they break for a rest and some sustenance. 

Thor rips apart a pomegranate and sinks his teeth into the delicious jewels within. He wipes his mouth with a forearm and nods. “Loki has healed.”

“Then why doesn’t he join us?” she persists.

“He is still tired from the extreme trauma his body has undergone,” Thor replies. “You did not see him during the process of regeneration. It was misery.”

“I do not doubt it,” Sif says. “The ambush was terrible. We were lucky to get out alive with all of our comrades mostly intact.”

“Might we visit him?” Hogun asks.

Thor sets down his fruit and frowns. “Oh, you know how Loki is. On a good day he fusses if somebody sees him not at his best. Give it some more time, my friends. Things will be as they were soon enough.”

And that is the end of that. The topic turns to a ball that is coming in the following days, and a hunt that had taken place the morning before. Thor knows nothing of either of these events, as his mind has been transfixed on Loki. He politely excuses himself from the company of his friends, assuring them that it would be not be so long between visits this time, and heads toward the stables.

He wishes for some time to clear his head, free himself from thoughts of his brother and what his brother might be doing, and summons his horse to be fit for a ride from the stable boys. As the horse is prepared and Thor waits, his eyes land on Sleipnir, Odin’s steed.

Thor watches the eight-legged creature, lazily grazing in his stable. If Thor had meant to get away from thoughts of Loki, this is surely the wrong way to be going about it. Sleipnir’s presence has always made Thor feel uneasy and slightly embarrassed. What must it be like to be Loki?

“My lord, the steed is ready,” says a red-headed stable boy. He hands the leather strap connected to a grand honey-colored horse to Thor, and Thor takes it with a nod. He mounts the animal and with one last gaze at Sleipnir, Thor directs his sights on the rolling plains of outer Asguard. 

“Hyah!” he shouts, and kicks the horse’s sides. They disappear over a hill, away from thoughts, away from realities.

 

***

 

When Thor arrives at Loki’s door that evening, he is dirty and sweaty, tousled from riding all day. He knocks on the door and waits a moment, hearing no answer. Thor pushes the door open and finds Loki on the floor, sprawled and motionless with a small vial next to his hand. 

Thor gasps and rushes to his brother’s side. “Loki,” he hisses. He holds his brother’s head and pats his cheeks a few times. “Brother, can you hear me? Wake now!”

Loki does not wake, and Thor’s heart races. What has he done? Has he poisoned himself? Thor picks up the vial and studies it. It is nondescript in every way, by looks, smell, and feel. Thor doesn’t dare taste it. He drops the vial and pulls Loki’s head and shoulders into his lap, strokes Loki’s dark hair. “Brother, please.”

A low moan escapes from Loki’s lips. His head lolls to the side and he opens his eyes, blinking up at Thor. “How long have I been out?”

“What?”

“Oh, never mind,” Loki mutters. He doesn’t move out of Thor’s lap but picks up the vial and sighs. “So much for that.”

“What is it?” Thor asks.

“Venom. No, not enough to be fatal but enough to feel the searing pain it inflicts as it attempts to shut down your body’s processes,” Loki says calmly. “I wasn’t trying to kill myself, dear brother. I prepared for that obstacle.”

“And what of your success?” Thor feels he must ask.

“None so far. The books say the power must start from within, and so I thought, why not try again and then test with a venom that curls around your insides and doesn’t let go. Quite painful,” Loki says with a wince, then sighs. “This will be not easy.”

Thor lets go of Loki and walks away. He pauses at the other end of the room, knuckle to his mouth. His insides are burning, with anger, desperation, confusion.

“This is madness,” he says, spinning around to see Loki attempting to stand. “I will not allow this any longer. To think of you locked away in your chambers, experimenting on yourself-”

“Ah,” Loki interrupts. He’s standing now, and is nearly eye level with Thor. “I told you I do not need your permission.”

“Maybe not, but have you no consideration for how this makes me feel?” Thor asks.

“No,” Loki replied levelly. “But I do have a consideration for how many times you will come to try and stop me as I keep doing this. If I stop, what then will draw you to me?”

Thor shuts his mouth and stares at Loki, perplexed. “Surely you aren’t doing this for my attention.”

Loki’s eyes flash. “Surely not.”

“If you wanted my attention, you need only ask,” Thor says plainly.

This is the wrong answer, because Loki’s eyes darken now, and he pushes Thor away with a scowl.

“Get out,” he snaps.

“Brother.”

“Leave me. I’m busy.”

“I will _never_ leave you, Loki, and if you think I will, then you are a fool,” Thor says loudly. 

“I suppose I must be a fool,” Loki says articulately. “You won’t always be there to protect, Thor. I think that has already been magnificently proven.”

“So that is what this is about? Your fear that I will not be able to protect you, and you shame me for failing?”

“It is not your task to-”

“As future King of Asgard, it is my task!” Thor says heatedly, standing right up to Loki. “As your brother and one who loves you more dearly than any other being or thing in all the realms, it _is_ my task.”

“And it is _my_ task and burden to learn to protect myself as I cannot always be the apple of your eye,” Loki replies. “I see myself in your eyes, Thor, and it scares me. I see myself in your heart. The implications, the density. As you said, you are the future King of Asgard. You must rule and protect all, not just one person.”

Thor wraps an arm around Loki’s lower back and pulls him close, their bodies aligned, and they breathe against each other’s lips for a moment. Thor could do it; he could bridge the gap between them and possess Loki in a way never before but something stops him, and he tenses his fingers around Loki’s waist.

Their eyes connect and it is Loki who pushes forward to press his lips against Thor in a scorching hot kiss. Thor is startled at first, his eyes wide, and he watches as Loki’s eyelids flutter shut. They pull closer and Thor shuts his eyes, letting the sensation of Loki’s hot lips on his take over completely. Every tension they’d ever held between them boils over and evaporates in the heat created. Thor moves one hand up Loki’s back and rests just behind his neck, touching the silky black hair and warm, smooth skin.

“Thor,” Loki speaks against Thor’s lips, and Thor pulls away for a moment, breathless.

“Yes?” Thor asks quietly.

Loki bites his bottom lip, and there’s a vulnerability in his eyes that has never been there before. He looks as though he is melting in Thor’s arms, unable to compose himself, terrified, broken and so very small. Thor strokes his face and nods once as if to say, it’s all right.

Loki nods in return, and Thor captures his lips again. He will prove to Loki that even though he will be king, even though he will rule countless Asgardians, there is only one person beloved and important to him, and always has been. He will always protect Loki and Loki will have no need for this ridiculous spell he’s been trying to enchant himself with, no need at all.

They silently back up until Thor has Loki pinned against the wall, and he moves down Loki’s jaw, kissing along his skin and down his neck. Loki lets out a breathy sound and puts his hands on Thor’s shoulders. Thor practically lifts Loki, he’s so slight in his arms, and his lips move back to Loki’s lips to explore some more. Loki’s mouth opens, inviting Thor inside, and they lick at each other’s lips, teeth, and tongues until they are both hot and panting with need. The moment is very real and tangible between them and when they pull apart and stare at each other, Thor feels as though he’s had one too many steins of ale.

He lets go of Loki and takes a step back. The haze clears and he sees his Loki, his beloved – his _brother_ \- standing before him, pinned against the wall, face flushed and eyes wide.

Loki touches his lips and his eyes trail to the floor, as if calculating his next move.

“Yes,” Thor says, his voice heavy and rasping. “I will always protect you. I will swear to protect Asgard, but it is written in my blood to protect you.”

Loki nods, for once rendered speechless.

“Good night, brother,” Thor says, and with much effort, he turns to leave the room. He walks slowly, giving his brother a chance to say something, but all that follows Thor is silence.

He stands in the hall, arms folded, brows furrowed. Something has shifted inside him, between them, all around them. Thor wishes he had the gift of foresight to know what awaits.

 

***

 

Thor wakes the next morning, restless and tired. He’d not slept more than an hour or two the night before, kept awake and haunted by the memory of kissing Loki. He can still feel the warmth and taste of his brother on his lips, all along his skin. The thing that stays on Thor’s mind the most, however, is the way he’d seemed to disable Loki’s silver tongue. One kiss from Thor and Loki had lost his wit that could cut like the sharpest knife.

The biggest surprised comes when Thor enters the dining hall for breakfast. He sees his mother and father taking their breakfast, but for the first time in weeks, there is Loki, sitting in his place.

Thor sits across from Loki at his place at the table and smiles at his parents. “Good morning,” he says to them, and he can feel Loki’s eyes burning through him.

“Good morning, Thor,” Odin replies. “So nice to have both Sons of Odin with us.”

Thor nods and finally turns to look at his brother. Loki’s green eyes stare hotly at him, his expression blank.

“Can I bring you anything, my lord?” a kitchen maid asks Thor.

“I will begin with fruit,” Thor says.

The maid bows and disappears into the kitchen, and Thor raises his eyebrows at Loki. Loki has a small breakfast plate in front of him, and none has been touched.

Frigga smiles at her boys and rests a hand on Loki’s wrist. “My darlings,” she says softly.

Yes, her darlings, Thor thinks. His mother’s darlings who had shared an unbelievable kiss just the night before. His ears burn at the memory and he looks away from Loki as a great bowl of fruit is set before him. Loki reaches across the table and takes a berry from the bowl, and Thor cocks a smile.

“Finally you join us,” Thor says.

“It was an inevitability,” Loki replies.

“You are feeling better, I hope?” Thor asks.

“Healing each day.”

“And the other thing?”

Loki curls a smile. “I am still working on it.”

Thor let out a low growl and busies himself with his bowl of fruit. After the fruit is gone, he orders a plate of meat and breakfast biscuits covered in a savory gravy. Loki watches the entire time, the only item of food he eats is the berry he’d taken from Thor’s plate.

At the end of breakfast, Odin excuses himself to attend a meeting with the nobles, and Frigga leaves to visit with her mother. Thor and Loki stand as the plates are cleared.

“Loki,” Thor says quietly. “You cannot be serious and mean to go ahead with your… your plan.”

Loki shrugs elegantly. “I suppose you will have to come and see for yourself.”

He walks away and Thor catches his arm. Loki pauses and looks at Thor, eyes sharp.

“Where are you going?” Thor demands.

Loki pulls his arm from Thor. “To the library.”

“Really.”

“Yes, really.” Loki frowns and turns to leave again, and Thor lets him. He watches Loki disappear out the door and sighs. His belly stirs with arousal and he wonders how long he can ignore it.

 

***

 

Thor manages to busy himself until that evening when he can no longer ignore his thoughts of his little brother. Something had sparked between them, had turned to a slow burn, and Thor wished to ignite the fire even more. 

He paces the corridor before making the final decision to go to his brother. There is nothing left to busy himself with, nothing left as a distraction. His last defense is the meager hope that perhaps Loki is still in the library, or somewhere else.

Once Thor reaches Loki’s door he poses his fist to knock, and holds his knuckles against the wood for a moment. He rests his forehead on the door, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. He knows not what will happen, but he cannot ignore the desire in the pit of his belly and it aches for Loki’s touch.

He pushes the heavy door open and finds Loki sitting on his bed in the same cross-legged position, this time not surrounded by books. He looks at Thor and holds up his hands, basketed together with threaded fingers. In his palms sits a flame, dancing and sparkling as it moves.

He blows out the flame and it extinguishes immediately, the smoke curling in tendrils around his face.

“So you’ve figured it out,” Thor says. He approaches Loki slowly. “Let me see your hands.”

Loki turns out his palms. They have not a scratch or burn.

“Impressive,” Thor adds.

“I told you I would find a way,” Loki replies. “Now there is nothing left for you to protect here.”

“Maybe so,” Thor agrees. “But knowing the person you love is invincible is not reason enough for me to stop trying.”

Loki’s eyes flash and he nods once. “So I’m to never be rid of you?”

Thor answers by crawling onto the bed and pinning Loki to the mattress, the scent of smoke still curling around them. Thor presses his lips hotly to Loki’s and they kiss for a long moment, deeply, passionately, tenderly. Their fingers twine and Thor feels Loki move underneath him, squirming. The burning grows between them, threatening to boil over and scorch them both.

Thor moves his lips down Loki’s jaw, down his neck, along his collarbone. Loki moans softly and his hands clutch at Thor’s broad back, fingers working through the thick material of Thor’s clothing. Loki is lithe and slight underneath Thor, and Thor is mighty and dense. The contrast is delicious, as is Loki’s skin against Thor’s tongue.

He takes Loki’s slender hips in his hands and squeezes, and Loki cries out and bites Thor’s earlobe gently. Thor moans gutturally and their eyes connect.

“Hurt me,” Loki dares him, and Thor shakes his head once. “Try.”

“No,” Thor says. He pins Loki down again and kisses him deep into the mattress, silencing his silver tongue once again. This is a new power Thor has over Loki, one he didn’t know he possessed. He licks along the inside of Loki’s lips and Loki whimpers slightly, locking his ankles around Thor’s waist and pulling tight.

Thor drops his weight almost entirely on top of Loki and Loki writhes beneath him, working his nimble fingers to creep up the back of Thor’s shirt. Thor feels Loki’s cool fingers massage the back of his skin, scratching, pressing, and he gasps against Loki’s ear.

“I will have you, because you are mine to have,” Thor rumbles lowly, and Loki sighs out. He feels Loki push his shirt up, and Thor pulls it off over his head, and lays his body down against Loki’s once more. His bare chest is pressed tight against Loki’s clothing. “Take it off.”

Loki shakes his head, looking feisty, and Thor smiles. “I’ll ask you one more time.”

“Nicely, if it suits you,” Loki replies.

Thor growls and buries his face into the crook of Loki’s neck, unable to get enough of his brother’s delicious scent. They rut together until Thor notices that Loki’s shirt is indeed gone, and he has enchanted it off.

He sits up and admires his brother’s delicate, creamy form and strokes a finger down the center of Loki’s chest and abdomen. Loki stares up at his, his green eyes dark, and he pulls Thor’s finger to his mouth and slips it between his lips.

“Do you like that you see?” Loki asks.

“I always like what I see when it is you,” Thor replies. He smoothes a hand over Loki’s tight body and tilts his head. “You have no scars from your wounds.”

“I enchanted them away.”

“I see,” Thor says. He leans down to kiss along Loki’s collarbone, down to his chest, his nipples. Loki hisses at the contact, and then he pushes up and spreads his legs so that Thor sits between them. “May I have you naked?”

Loki lifts a hand and touches his fingers together in a quick movement, and the rest of his clothes vanish. Thor’s breath catches in his throat as he stares down at his now naked brother, beautiful and on display before him. Loki’s limbs are slender and long, his hips little. His cock is half hard, curved against his stomach, and he nods as Thor reaches a hand to touch it.

Thor touches Loki’s length and the flesh is warm and hard against his hands. He strokes down the shaft, rubbing his fingers on either side, enticing drops of precome from the slit. Loki hisses between his teeth but his eyes are watching Thor’s every move. Thor has only been with one man before this, and it had been when he was much younger. He has more experience with maidens, but though Loki is another man, he is delicate like a maiden, and Thor knows just how to handle him.

Loki makes another snap gesture with his hand and Thor’s clothing is removed as well. Thor gives Loki a slightly disapproving look. “I did not permit that, brother.”

“I did,” Loki replies, and Thor grins at the logic of it all.

“And where did my trousers travel to?” Thor asks.

Loki shrugs a shoulder. “I really was not focused enough to think of a specific locale.”

“Ah,” Thor says. “Are you not concerned?”

“It is not my highest priority at the moment to wonder where our trousers have appeared, no,” Loki says smoothly. His eyes trail down Thor’s chest to Thor’s already hard cock, and he licks at his lips.

“And do _you_ like what you see?”

“And what if I do?”

“Is everything a game with you?” Thor leans back down over Loki and covers him, their naked bodies now entwined. They move together, their cocks rutting and sliding as they gather more precome and moisture from the sweat off their bodies. Their lips connect once more, fingers grasping, and they kiss as they grind. This is the most sensual and intimate Thor has ever been with another, and his heart aches that it is his little brother Loki, always so beautiful and clever and desirable. Now he is on top of him, possessing him, naked and intimate and it is almost too much for him to bear.

He grinds down harder, kissing Loki so hard he knows they will both be flushed and red in the morning, and presses his cock lightly toward the heat of Loki’s hole. Loki gasps out and looks at Thor with something akin to uncertainty in his eyes.

Thor presses a kiss to the side of his lip and reaches a hand down to stroke Loki’s hole. The skin is so sensitive there, so hot and private, and Thor closes his eyes as he touches it. Loki is purring like a cat now, practically vibrating under Thor. Their eyes lock and Thor presses a finger inside.

“More,” Loki says. “You won’t hurt me.”

“I wouldn’t try,” Thor replies with a frown.

“Oh, please,” Loki says softly, just a hint of mischief alight in his eyes.

Thor nods and presses in deeper, watching Loki’s face contort and then relax as he takes Thor’s finger. Thor can hardly believe how tight Loki is, how unbelievably warm inside. He curls his finger and Loki lets out an undignified squeak. He swirls his finger inside Loki, making circular motions, and Loki begins to grind his hips in tantalizing motions. Thor adds another probing finger and gasps at the tightness again, but Loki relaxes his muscles and takes him in deeper.

“Does it feel good for you?” Thor asks, his voice raspy. “Tell me, my darling.”

“I need more,” Loki says wantonly. “So much more.”

Thor lets out a staggering breath at the display and withdraws his fingers. He could have fingered Loki like that for hours, he loved seeing the expression on his brother’s face. However, he knows what they both need, and Thor’s groin is aching and heated, his balls tighter by the second.

Loki leans forward to touch Thor’s cock, and Thor watches, shuddering in pleasure at the contact. Loki rings his hand around the base of Thor’s cock and pulls it down, a trail of lube following, enchanted. Thor raises an eyebrow.

“How long have you known such a charm?” _And just how many men have you done this on, to be so practiced at it?_

Loki seems to know what is on Thor’s mind and he simply smiles and lets his thighs fall open, inviting Thor inside. Thor takes Loki’s legs behind the knees and kneels between them positioning his cock at Loki’s hole. Loki lets out a sharp breath as Thor nudges him, and then gently presses inside. Loki is tight and his body is so slight that Thor cannot imagine being sheathed completely, but Loki is quite the shapeshifter and he allows Thor inside, inch by inch. Thor closes his eyes and presses in deeper, leaning down to rest his forehead against Loki’s. Their lips meet in a short kiss and Loki hisses loudly as Thor’s cock rests in to the hilt.

“Oh…” Loki’s face twists, his brows furrowed, and Thor pushes his raven locks away. Is that pain?

“Does it hurt, brother?” Thor asks.

Loki looks at Thor. “Yes,” he says. “It does. How about that?”

Thor moves to withdraw his cock, but Loki holds his shoulder.

“No,” he says lowly. “It feels good, this pain.”

“I swore never to hurt-”

“Oh, Thor,” Loki murmurs. “Did you ever think we would be engaged in such congress?”

Thor bites his lip and dares to smile, and Loki pats the side of his face.

“Now do it,” Loki says. “The pain is sweet, and what follows will be sweeter yet.”

“That is the truth,” Thor agrees, and they seal it with a long, hot kiss. Thor thrusts into his brother, holding in, bucking his hips to graze Loki’s sweet spot inside, and Loki manages to cry out sharply, hissing, clawing at Thor’s backsides like a feline.

And Loki is feline; he is lithe and smooth against Thor, moving in the most devastating ways, squeezing and releasing Thor’s cock with expert ease. They kiss as they ride the waves of their orgasms, entwined, hearts beating in perfect synch with their movements. Thor has never known such pleasure as he is seated inside Loki, his darling brother, the one who always he’d been so besotted with and heartbroken to lose. His emotions build inside him along with his release, and as their eyes lock again, Thor comes hard inside Loki with a cacophonous shout.

“Ohh,” Loki moans out, eyes closed and hands pinned above him. He moves deliciously as Thor is still seated inside him, writhing, grinding against the sheets. His cock is red with anticipation, and Thor takes it into his hands to draw out the first trickles of come.

“Yes,” Thor says, amazed at the sight before him. Loki is literally screwdriving himself onto his cock, completely blissed out, eyes fluttering and lips parted. He’s never looked more divine, Thor thinks, and he strokes Loki’s cock steadily. 

Loki comes out a sigh, languidly releasing into Thor’s hands, his limbs rigid and then fluid against Thor and the mattress. Thor leans down to kiss Loki’s jaw, his cheek, his lips. Loki returns the kiss and wraps his arms around Thor’s shoulders, pulling him in for a post-coital, hazy kiss. Thor drinks in his brother, inhales the intoxicating scent, revels in Loki’s velvety, dewy skin. Thor slides off Loki and lies at his side, and Loki rests his head against Thor’s chest, rising and falling with the older man’s breaths,

Perfection. Making love to Loki had been perfection, and Thor strokes his brother’s hair, nearly laying worship to his brother’s bare body with his eyes. The fire that had burned between then has now simmered into a warm glow of embers and it is very comfortable.

Thor strokes down Loki’s back and shoulders, his hand resting along the dip of Loki’s hipbones. Loki yawns and settles, drawing the covers around them with a flick of his fingers.

“Must you enchant everything?” Thor asks, bemused. 

“Yes,” Loki replies. “I suppose I must.”

Loki turns up to look at Thor, squinting thoughtfully. Thor smoothes Loki’s hair across his forehead and kisses him softly. “What is it now? Do you wish me to leave so that you can continue work on your spell? Clearly it did not work as you thought it had.”

“Mm, indeed,” Loki says. “I think I will cease that experiment, though.”

“Oh?”

“Since we will be doing this again,” Loki says pointedly, “I would like to feel more next time. Really let me have it. Tears, Thor. I want you to make me weep.”

“Try not to be so dark.”

Loki smiles and holds up his hands. He presses his fingers together and extracts a light yellow orb. Thor watches as it lazily hovers in Loki’s hands, and the Loki pushes it gently toward Thor’s head.

“Not another foul smelling…” The orb clouds around Thor’s head and he feels pleasant, hazy, and sleepier than he could ever remember. He lets out a yawn and frowns, shaking his head. “Loki, no. A slumber spell.”

But it is too late, and Thor sags low in Loki’s bed. He gives up the fight and wraps his arms tighter around his beloved, and finds a deep, restful sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading. :) was my first actual fic rather than just messing around anonymously on the kinkmemes, so still feeling the characters out, but it was fun and I will be posting more in the near future. thanks again!


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